Game of Thrones – Season 3 – Episode 9 – The Rains of Castamere

Game of Thrones – Season 3 – Episode 9 – The Rains of Castamere

Overall Thoughts: Holy Fuck! Holy Fuck!! Holy Fuck!!! Holy Fuck!!!! Holy Fuck!!!!! I knew what was coming and I still got all emotional. I never was a huge Robb fan, and I enjoyed Catelyn even less, but I will really miss them. This was the best episode of the series. Many fans will argue that distinction goes to Blackwater (Season 2 – Episode 9), but the Rains of Castamere had action, and shock value. It was like Ned’s beheading and Blackwater combined into one kick ass episode. While the Red part of the Red Wedding went rather quickly (less than eight minutes) it was so gripping that it felt like much longer.

The theme of the episode seemed to be  loss and sacrifice. Bran sent Rickon off to be safe. Ygritte nearly sacrificed herself for Jon during his escape. Jon put his life on the line for an old man her barely knew. Robb sacrificed his pride in order to win back Lord Walder. We are reminded that Robb scarified everything for Talisa in the first place. Catelyn attempted to sacrifice herself so Robb could live. Arya and the Hound argued about the worth of a man’s life, much like Jon and the wildlings did. Arya sacrificed her safety at a chance to see or help her family. And, obviously the loss of life was the main driver at the end of the episode.

Grade: A+

We open with Robb and Catelyn discussing battle plans. Notice the focus on the X, Chess piece. Think who is tied to an X currently. Now think who is tourturing him. Now put two and two together. Now get mad if I spoiled something for you. Now, be happy if you had no fucking clue who that guy was. Now, back to the story.

Robb wants to attack Casterly Rock, the homestead of the Lannisters, and he wants to know what mama thinks. She is worried that the plan is crazy, and that it relys on Walder Frey, who Robb spurned just a few episodes back. Catelyn decides to say, “Fuck it let’s do it anyway.” Nice parenting mom.

“Show them how it feels to lose what they love.”


“This plan has a high chance we end up deader than Ned, but vengeance!”

Those words kind of come back to bite her in the ass, actually more the throat.

The Stark gang heads to the Twins, home of House Frey, and inside Walder Frey extends his hospitality and protection. They break bread dipped salt, a ritual that gives them guest rights.

“I extend to you my hospitality and protection in the light of the Seven.” – Lord Walder

Robb says he is sorry, and Walder once again shows off what lovely young daughters and granddaughters he has. Once again, he can’t remember all of their names. Edmure looks them over and I think he is considering the two twin twelve year olds at this point.



“You could have had either. You could have had both for all I care.”

Robb apologizes to all the ladies and Walder gives him a slow clap.

Walder wants to check out Talisa. Who wouldn’t I suppose? He remarks that Robb married her more for lust than love.

“Prettier than this lot. That’s for sure.”

Walder knows what is going on under that dress.

“I can always see what’s going on beneath a dress.”

“I bet when you take that dress off, everything stays right where it is, doesn’t drop an inch.”

On my second watch of the episode I think that was Lord Walder’s way of saying he knew Talisa was pregnant.

“The wine will flow red, and the music will play loud, and we will put this mess behind us.” – Lord Walder

Another possible statement with some foreshadowing, or perhaps I am just adding it now that I know how it all goes down.

Over is Essos, Dany is going over battle strategy of her own with her crew of Barristan Selmy, Jorah Mormont and Daario Naharis. Daario thinks they should go into a back gate that his men use when they want to get freaky with some slave girls. Daario ain’t into that type of stuff.

“A man cannot make love to property.”

Dany gives him a deep look.

daario and dany

“You have my attention.”

Jorah, of course doesn’t trust him. Grey Worm, for whatever reason does. The plan is to send three men into the city and open the front door. Once that is done the city will fall quickly. Sure it will!

North of the Wall, Sam and Gilly are still walking, but they finally reach the Wall. Sam plans to find the Black Gate, a secret Night’s Watch Passage. They will pass through the Black Gate and onto the other side. That sounds much easier than the climb.

Sam learned of the secret entrance in a book. Books are great. So great in fact that Gilly thinks Sam is a wizard. You’re a wizard Sammy!

Near the Twins, the Hound and Arya come upon a lonely traveler, who broke a wheel on his cart. The Hound helps him out and then punches the guy in the face. He attempts to kill him, but Arya stops this from happening.

The Hound’s reasoning is sound:

“Dead rats, don’t squeak.”

This scene reminded me of Jaime and Brienne, waaaay back in episode 2, and we all remember how that worked out.

Arya calls the Hound a pussy.

“I know killer, a real killer. You’d be like a kitten to him. He’d kill you with his little finger.”

“That him.”



Ha! The Hound continues to be the best. Arya gets the big man to try not murder for once. Then as the man arises, Arya hammers him over the head with a stick.

I think she intrigues the Hound, but he offers her words to live by in Westeros.

“You’re very kind. Someday it’ll get you killed.”

Just South of the Wall, Bran and his crew (ever notices how every main character has a crew now except for Jaime?) come to a tower in the Gift.

Jojen displays his meteorology skills and they decide they are going to stay the night in the tower.

We hop to Jon and Orell informs the group of wildlings that there is one old man ahead with eight horses. The old guy breeds horses for the Night’s Watch. The wildlings want to kill the old dude, and Jon of course does not. Orell calls him out for not being with them for the 800th time. Jon tries to bargain for the old man’s life.

“The watch might send a few men looking for a horse thief. They’ll send a lot more hunting down murderers.”

Tormund has a better point though.

“I hope so, killing Crows near a castle is tough, killing them out here, in the open, that’s what we do.”

They run at the hut and the old guy hops on his horse and rides out. Ygritte has a shot at him, but Jon yells at her and she misses. I can’t tell if she does so on purpose or not, but she gives Jon a glare colder than any White Walker’s touch.

Back near the Twins, the Hound is just chilling while Arya is trying to get things moving. The Hound calls her out for being scared that her family is going to leave before she gets there.

“You’re almost there, and you’re afraid you won’t make it. The closer you get the worse the fear gets.”

Arya goes right back at Clegane.

“I knew fear when I saw it in you. You are afraid of fire.”

The Hound continues to push the youngest Stark girl until she snaps.

“Someday I’m going to put a sword through your eye and out the back of your skull.”

Back in the Tower, Bran and company discuss how they will get past the wall. Just as this happens, the old horse breeder is surrounded by wildlings and Jon Snow. Hodor is freaked out by the thunder and keeps Hodoring.And now we pause for the best rap song since Daario Naharis actor Ed Skrein!!

Don’t ask me how I find this shit.

Orell hears something, but we find out Bran can jump into other people’s bodies. He enters Hodor, no homo (Shout out to Roy Hibbert) and calms him down.

Outside, Orell mentions the shouting, but Tormund dismisses it. Tormund is about to kill the old man, but Orell suggests that Jon do the deed, and he isn’t talking about the fun one with Ygritte.

Jojen tells Bran to warg out and into one of the wolves.

Jon contemplates killing the man, but can’t do it. Ygritte shoots the horse breeder herself and a fight breaks out. Jon knocks Ygritte away to keep her safe, and Tormund stops her from entering the fight.

“You’re not going to die for one of them.”

Bran finally wargs into his wolf Summer and takes out several wildlings. Jon final kills Orell, but not before Orell wargs into the bird. It is warg central.

Jon takes a bird to the dome, knocks it away and rolls off on his horse. Ygritte is pissed. If I thought that look earlier was cold, this one was at absolute zero.

Across the Narrow Sea, Daario, Jorah and Grey worm sneak into the city. We discover Daario is an excellent whistler. They are ambushed by several guards and have a pretty sweet fight scene. They take out the first wave and go back to back to back, just like all badass fighting groups. The next wave of soldiers rushes in and we cut back to the Twins.

Walder Frey walks the bride down the aisle, but no one can tell what she looks like because she has a veil on. It is obviously not the twins from earlier. Damn! Edmure looks nervous, but as the veil is lifted and we see a hottie, he looks well excited. Good for you Edmure. How the hell does he get a stunner? Frey must have done this to show Robb what he could have had.

In the tower, Jojen explains warging to Bran. He is the only person, who can warg into another person. Get it? Osha pulls her whole, “I’m not going North of the wall” spiel again. This time Bran tells her she has to take Rickon to be safe. Rickon has like five lines! All in one scene! What is happening! Osha takes Bran’s command and leaves immediately. She wanted to get the fuck outta dodge I guess.

At Dany’s camp, she is worried that Daario, Grey Worm and Jorah have been away too long. Just as she says this Grey Worm and Jorah come back covered in blood. Daario is missing, and Dany is worried about him. She asks where he is and Jorah looks like somebody shit in his Easter basket.

Jorah IANP

“Daario, Daario, Daario. What about Jorah?”

Daario rolls up all smooth like and tells Dany the city is yours. Jorah could have totally done this, but he has no game. Did I already mention that Daario raps? I did!?! Well I will again anyway.

At the Tully-Frey nuptials, the band is playing, everybody but Roose is drinking and people seem to be enjoying themselves.

“The Gods love to reward a fool.” – Blackfish about Edmure.

We find out the Roose is a gold digger.

“Aye, Lord Walder let me choose any one of his grand daughters and offered her weight in silver as a dowry, so I have a fat young bride.”

Talisa and Robb flirt, and when Robb moves in for a kiss, Talisa tells him to hold the phone.

Walder calls for the bedding, which I explained last week. Edmure and his bride are carried out and Edmure even starts to get a HJ on the way out.

“Once you set that monster free there is no caging him again.”

Ha! I expected Edmure to have a minnow in his pants not a muskie.

Talisa and Robb banter about bedding and they talk about the baby they are about to have. If it is a boy they will name him Eddard. Note: this is a terrible idea.

Oh fuck. It is that time. We will now break down the action based on what Catelyn’s face is saying.

They kiss and Catelyn notices that one of the Frey mean closes the door to the hall.

The look on Catelyn’s face says: That is odd…

The band begins to play the Rains of Castamere.

The look on Catelyn’s face says: I have a bad feeling about this.

Outside the Hound pulls up in his cart and tries to get into the feast pretending to be delivering salt pork. He is too late. Arya takes this chance to abandon the cart and look around.

Inside the hall, Walder Frey stops the song and starts monologing.

The look on Catelyn’s face says: Why are villains always doing that?

She lifts up the outer layer of Roose’s sleeve and notices that he has chainmail on.

The look on Catelyn’s face says: Oh, fuck you!

She slaps the shit out of him, and as he runs like a bitch she screams, “Robb!”

Walder gives Robb his wedding gift. One of his men delievers it, but he doesn’t give it to Robb, he presents the gift to Talisa in the form of a knife in the stomach. (This is why you don’t name your unborn son Eddard.)

THE RED WEDDING HAS OFFICIALLY BEGUN! Was your reaction like any of these?

Or was it more like this guy?

The band begins to fire arrows into Robb, and any Stark supporter in the crowd.

Catelyn takes one in the back.

The look on Catelyn’s face says: OWWWWW!

Outside, the Frey men start killing more Stark men and then shoot Robb’s wolf, Grey Wind.

Arya witnesses both events and tries to make it into the castle to see her family. The Hound catches up to her and knocks her out, and carries her out of the area.

Back in the hall, Catelyn crawls around under the table, and Robb crawls towards his wife.

“The King in the North arises.”

The look on Catelyn’s face says: I better do some crazy shit quick.

Catelyn grabs a dagger, springs up, and grabs Walder’s wife.

“Lord Walder, enough. Let it end. Please. He is my son. My first son. Let him go and I swear we will forget this.”

Lord Walder ain’t having it. Catelyn begins to beg.

“Please, please!!!”

The look on Catelyn’s face says: I’m fucking desperate.

She tries a new tactic.

“On my honor as a Tully, on my honor as a Stark, let him go or I will cut your wife’s throat.”

The look on Catelyn’s face says: I’m dead fucking serious you old coot.

Walder don’t give a fuck:

“I’ll find another.”


Robb stands up and let’s out a whiperish “Mother.”

The look on Catelyn’s face says: My boy, my baby boy…

Roose comes back into the mix and stabs the eldest Stark!

“The Lannisters send their regards.”

The look on Catelyn’s face says: Noooooooo!

She screams bloody murder, then commits bloody murder.

The look on Catelyn’s face says: I’ve lost my mind.

As she stands in a catatonic state, one of the Frey men slits Catelyn’s throat.

The look on Catelyn’s face says: I’ve lost a lot of blood.

As her body falls lifelessly to the floor, we roll silent credits.

Wow! The scene in the book made some readers want to quit on the series, the scene in the show has apparently done the same thing. It just made me realize (again) no one is safe. How did it make you feel?


One thought on “Game of Thrones – Season 3 – Episode 9 – The Rains of Castamere

  1. Pingback: The Rains of Castamere Review (Game of Thrones, Season 3 Episode 9) | dcwreview

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s