Season 3 –Episode 3 – “Walk of Punishment”
Overall Thoughts: We touched in with almost everyone and some people we haven’t seen in a while. The cliffhanger ending was excellent, but I’m sure the critics who complain about the pacing of the show will be whining once again. I think things are really starting to ramp up and we are about to hit the ground running in Episodes 4 through 10. Every storyline is starting to come along and I have really liked some of the changes they have made to pack everything from early on in the book into three episodes. I am still not a huge fan of the Theon storyline, because I know where it leads, but you can’t say that horse chase wasn’t exciting.
We open at a funeral. The Stark clan sends Catelyn’s father down river. Edmure Tully is supposed to light the fire with a flaming arrow, but he can’t hit shit. Three misses in a row, pathetic. His Uncle Brynden “the Blackfish” Tully grabs the bow out of Edmure’s hand and lights that son of a bitch on the first try.
“I got this shit.”
We cut inside and Edmure wants to talk about the mill he took in battle. Blackfish tells him the shut his trap and make sure to call Robb “King”.
Robb is also pissed at Edmure because he didn’t listen to his plan, and lead the Mountain into a trap.
“He is a mad dog without a strategic thought in his head. I could have his head on a spike by now.”
208 men were lost in the Mill battle and Robb ain’t happy about it.
“We need our men more than Tywin needs his!”
Richard Madden was extremely convincing with this speech. I love how the show is making Robb seem like much more of a capable leader.
“What the fuck, Edmure?”
We jump to a small council meeting and Petyr Baelish cuts off Varys and Maester Pycelle to get a seat next to Tywin, who is sitting at the head of the table. Speaking of Varys it is the first time we have seen him this Season. This is what he looks like in real life. Look at all that hair.
“Yeah, I got a dick in real life too.”
Cersei joins the meeting and moves her chair up next to Tywin on his right. Varys gives her the best dirty look and then Tyrion moves his chair opposite of Tywin, but he does so in a way only Tyrion could. He drags it along the floor noisily and boy is it funny. I love the way Dinklage plays it.
Tywin wants to know about Jaime, but no one has any notion of where he is and the Hand doesn’t like that shit.
“How did I get stuck with this group of idiots?”
They move onto other topics and we discover the Littlefinger is going to marry Lysa Arryn the Queen of the Vale. You remember her right, the crazy bitch who breast feeds a 12 year old and acts all nutty with her tit always popping out?
“She has always been positively predisposed towards me.”
How cocky of you Baelish. I love it.
“The Young Wolf can add his own aunt to the list of people who have taken up arms against him.” – Tywin
Tyrion points out that with Littlefinger out there won’t be a Master of Coin. Tywin agrees and tells Tyrion that he will be the new Master of Coin.
“I’m quite good at spending money, but a lifetime of outrageous wealth hasn’t taught me much about managing it.”
We jump to the captured Jaime and Brienne. The group of Boltons men is singing the Bear and the Maiden Fair.
Jaime is bitching at Brienne because he wasn’t armed when they were taken. Brienne points out that he actually was and then hits him with a burn.
“All my life I’ve been hearing Jaime Lannister, what a brilliant swordsman. You were slower than I expected and more predictable.”
“Maybe people just love to praise a famous name.”
Jaime makes a few excuses, then turns shit serious.
“You’ll be raped… If you fight them they will kill you.”
He suggests she just takes it. After showing that maybe he does care about her a little, he goes back to the barbs.
“Close your eyes and pretend it is Renly.”
Is it just me or does Renly get mentioned more often in season 3 then in any season he was actually in? His name comes up at least twice an episode.
Meanwhile at the Inn, Gendry is helping Thoros with his armor. Arya is annoyed that Gendry would help the Red Priest. She spots the Hound, who continues to be awesome when talking about how using a bow is for pussies.
“Cowards weapon. I like to fight up close. I like to see a man’s face when I put the steel in him.”
Arya asks if he remembers the last time he was here. Why? I can’t remember either.
“It looks like every other shit inn on the road.”
God his delivery is excellent.
Hot Pie tells Gendry and Arya that he is staying. Apparently he is quite the baker. Who would have guessed that a fat kid can bake?
He gives Arya a piece of bread shaped like a wolf.
Hot Pie tells Gendry, “Don’t get stabbed.”
Gendry tells Hot Pie, “You don’t…burn your fingers.”
Gendry rolls out awkwardly and Arya says goodbye.
The head out on horse back.
Back in Riverrun Cat is talking to her Uncle Blackfish about war and her dad.
“Your father was a stubborn old ox. I was surprised when he died, didn’t think death had the patience.”
Cat is reminded of her children and she gets sad.
“I wonder how many times did Bran or Rickon stare across the moors of Winterfell waiting for me to return? I will never see them again.”
She cries, again.
“I’m a tear factory.”
Blackfish tells her she has to remain strong for Robb.
Talisa is tending to the wounds of two young Lannisters.
They ask if the rumors about Robb are true, and she starts toying with them.
“My husband doesn’t eat children. Unless it is a full moon.”
“Robb only eats me during the full moon as well. He’s a selfish lover.”
Up North we have a crop circle of dead horses. What the fuck?
“You said there was dead crows.” – Mance
“There was.” – Orell
“You know what those men are now.” – Mance
Mance says you shouldn’t bet against Mormon and then decides it is time to strike. He tells Tormund to take Jon and climb the wall. He tells Gianstbane to toss Jon if he doesn’t follow orders.
“Throw him off the wall. See if crows can fly.”
He asks that they wait for a signal. “What signal?”, Orell asks.
“When it’s time, I’m going to light the biggest fire the North has ever seen!”
Well okay then! That will be hard to miss I’m guessing.
At Craster’s Keep the Night’s Watch try to regroup. They look like hell.
Craster is an asshole as always. His daughter is giving birth and he wants her to pipe down.
“Tell her to bite down on a rag, or she can bite down on my fist.”
He picks on Sam.
“Well look at him. He is a walking feast!”
Gilly is the one giving birth, and Sam sneaks in for a peep show. Perv.
It is a boy and as soon as Gilly spots him he runs. Just like a peeping Tom!
And then there was X, or at least the X Theon is tied to.
The sweeper kid from last week is here to save the day!
“If you can’t ride you don’t stand a chance.”
“I can ride.”
Ride Bitches that is!
He frees Theon and sends him on his way.
At Dragonstone, Melisandre is leaving and Stannis doesn’t understand why. She is heading wherever the fires show her to go.
Stannis also wants another son, but Melisandre says he can’t handle it.
“You don’t have the strength.”
“Your fires burn low my king.”
There is another way though.
“There are others with your blood in their veins. First there must be sacrifices. The lord of light demands it.”
Stannis also mentions Renly in this scene as well. Man that dude gets a ton of chat about him.
We hop to Astapor and Dany tries to give a slave water. He would rather die.
Barristan wants to leave Astapor.
“We can find sellswords at Pentos and Myr.”
Jorah wants to stay.
They argue for a bit.
“The unsullied are not men. They do not rape.”
Barristan talks about Rhaegar, Dany’s brother.
“They followed him into battle because they loved him.”
Selmy tells her that he fought with the last dragon.
Dany tells him “I’m the last Dragon bitch!”
I thought the last dragon was Bruce Lee, but whatever.
She tells Kraznys that she will buy all the Unsullied.
As usual he insults her and it is hilarious.
“The slut thinks she can flash her tits and and make us give her whatever she wants.”
Dany wants the half-trained boys as well.
“I will have them all or take none.”
Kraznys says she can only afford a few.
“Her ship is worth 100, and this because I like the curve of her ass.”
This dude is so, sexist.
How does she purpose to pay for the other 7,877 Unsullied?
Dany offers up a dragon. A DRAGON? WHAT?
Jorah and Barristan beg her not to.
“One.” Dragon, the biggest dragon.
As a gift Dany wants Messandei. I want Messandei too! Damn she is fine.
This one like.
Outside, Dany gets all pissy and tells Jorah and Barristan not to embarrass her in public.
Dany and Messandi walk and talk, and it is a walk of hotness.
We discover what Valar Morgulis means.
“All men must die.”
But they aren’t men.
At Littlefinger’s office, Tyrion is picking up some books and Pod is checking out Ros’s tits.
Littlefinger and Tyrion discuss debt and Ros.
“I did fuck her once.”
“I know.” – Littlefinger
I thought it was twice!
Tyrion asks for advice and Baelish tells him to keep a low profile.
“They’re only numbers. Numbers on paper. Once you understand that it is easy to make them behave. Trivial even. You want a real challenge? Try whores.”
“I’ve tried a few.”
Bronn is hitting on some sluts and continues to be awesome.
“Unless Lord twat beard made up a bunch of numbers to hide what he was really up to.”
Tyrion and Bronn bought not one, not two, but three whores for Pod.
Number 1 is good with first timers.
“She is not bad with second timers either.”
Number 2 is a good spear handler, and number three can even preform a proper Myrennese Knot!
Bronn gives the boy some advice, “Pace yourself lad!”
At Tyrion’s hangout he discovers that Littlefinger has been borrowing money from Casterly Rock and the Iron Bank of Braavos.
Tyrion explains the concept of a loan to Tyrion.
“If we fail to repay these loans, they will fund our enemies. One way or another, they always get there money back.”
Pod shows up and we find out that the whores didn’t make him pay.
“What did you do to them?” Bronn asks.
“All kinds of stuff.”
“These ladies enjoyed him so much they gave him their time for free?” – Bronn
“We are going to need details. Copious details.” – Tyrion
Apparently Pod is hung like a mule!
Theon is on the run and an arrow whizzes right by his head. Some men on horseback are after him. They have a cool jaunt through the woods, and Theon is dehorsed.
That must have hurt.
His chasers beat on him a bit, then we find out that in Westeros they ass fuck runaways.
Theon is not happy about this.
“I’m going to fuck you into the dirt.”
What?!? I don’t think I was supposed to laugh at this line, but I did.
Arrows begin to fly into Theon’s captors.
He is saved once again. No ass fucking for Theon. Not today anyway.
Brienne and Jaime are tied to different trees, and as expected the boys are going to try to rape Brienne.
It looks as if rape is the theme of this week’s episode.
She fights and gets beat down.
Jaime tells the man in charge that Brienne is from Tarth, and that her father would pay if she is returned unharmed.
“The call it the Sapphire Isles…Sapphires are gemstones, the good ones.”
His lie seems to work. They decide not to rape her.
“Your father he pay your weight in gold to get you back?” – Locke
Jaime goes into full on Lannister mode and tries to buy his way out.
“Lands, titles you will have them all. The North can’t win this war.”
“Fighting bravely for a losing cause is admirable. Fighting for a winning cause is much more rewarding.”
Jaime then smoothly gets the man to free him from his chains and even give him a nice meal.
They take him over to a table and slam his head into it.
I thought they were going to feed him!
Locke then goes into a rant.
“If you get in any trouble all you have to do is say my father and that’s it all your troubles are gone.”
“Careful you don’t want to say the wrong thing. You are nothing without your daddy, and your daddy ain’t here.”
Then he cuts Jaime’s hand off!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy Shit! This scene was tense and awesome. Another great cliffhanger.
Jaime’s transformation is just beginning and I can’t wait to see how they handle the rest of the season.
Even though I thought it was a great and emotional ending, I could only think of this scene.
See you next week!